Cultivating Gratitude in Your Everyday Life
Imagine you live according to the common American script. In this vision, you believe that happiness is key to “the good life.” Indeed, it’s something you deserve (think how our law guarantees your rights for “the pursuit of happiness”).
Now imagine you also find yourself in a season of unhappiness. Since it’s crucial to your life, something you deserve, this is beyond inconvenience—it is a matter of injustice. Someone must be held accountable. Something must be done. And so you respond accordingly. We get frustrated because of the injustice of it. We complain and get angry to make things go our way.
When things don’t go our way, we react according to our vision of a good life. If you’ve ever wondered why there is so much complaining on social media, this is why. Twitter is what happens when billions of people all living for their own personal happiness get a platform to complain when their vision doesn’t go as planned.
“I thought once everybody could speak freely and exchange information and ideas, the world is automatically going to be a better place. I was wrong about that.” Evan Williams, co-founder of Twitter
Do you find yourself lashing out on friends and family, giving the silent treatment to those you are supposed to love, tirelessly upset at incompetent leadership? Do you struggle with sarcasm, are you sharp-tongued? Do you find hurtful words coming out of your mouth to your kids or your parents? Those angry responses come to the surface during difficult circumstances. When life gets shaken up, our underlying vision becomes clear.
For example, anger is a tool for accomplishing what is right. The reason we lash out in attitudes of frustration, anger, and complaining — is to make things right. Complaining is a form of anger, an act of taking control of the situation to accomplish what our vision is right. The problem is, it is often not God’s vision.
Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. James 1v19–20
But if we equip ourselves with a new vision—God’s vision—it will naturally lead to a new attitude. Just look at Paul’s attitude in the midst of distress and affliction:
For what thanksgiving can we return to God for you, for all the joy that we feel for your sake before our God, as we pray most earnestly night and day that we may see you face to face and supply what is lacking in your faith? (1 Thessalonians 3v9–10)
The context for this writing is Paul’s persecution; he was just run out of town. This church he loves is struggling (he fears). And yet, Paul is grateful… joyful… prayerful… This is the attitude of a follower of Jesus who share’s Jesus’ vision. We might be in a season of unhappiness, but we are still full of joy and gratitude.
And I wonder how many of us are living through this season full of frustration, governed by anger, poisoned by bitterness, undermined by joylessness? Who are blaming our circumstances, justifying our behavior on the “trial I am in,” and who are in the meanwhile hurting those we care about…
Your life is not to blame for your attitude. Your attitude is to blame for your life. And central to the attitude of any follower of Jesus is gratitude. (“For what thanksgiving can we return to God for you?” v9) This is exaggerated hyperbole; he’s essentially saying, “How can we possibly thank God enough?” (NIV)
But what is gratitude? Gratitude is an emotion, the feeling of being thankful. It happens inside us when we recognize where our blessings come from. When we see—get a vision—that this blessed life is a gift from God — the result is the emotion of gratitude:
I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth. Psalm 121v1–2
If you practice thanksgiving today, watch your attitude transform in a matter of hours. Our friend Dr. Gregg Jantz puts it like this:
Gratitude is an antidote for fear. Fear focuses on all the things that could go wrong. Gratitude focuses on all the things that have gone right. When our gratitude is based upon the power and promises of God, we have an abundance of things that have gone right! Dr. Gregg Jantz
So here’s a thought: What can you give thanks for today?
Paul was practicing “thanksgiving… for you… for all the joy that we feel for your sake… as we pray… that we may see you… and supply what is lacking in your faith?” (v9–10) Notice Paul’s attitude. It’s directed toward “you” He’s joyful “for you,” praying “for you,” eager to serve “you.” He’s not looking at his circumstances, but looking at the blessings all around him, especially his friends the Thessalonians who have become his lifeline during this season.
Jesus has given all his followers people to support them in any season—people called the “church.” Perhaps instead of looking at your circumstances, you look at your community. Perhaps that will change everything.
Let’s be clear here. God would never dismiss what you’re going through. But let’s be honest. Despite this difficult time of being shaken, as followers of Jesus, we have so much to be thankful for — so let us tell God how much we appreciate all his blessings.
Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire. (Hebrews 12v28–29)